Manila 2013. Not again?

Let me start my journey before flew to Manila.

Gosh! 9 days before that, prayer mode was switched on "me and mummy". 3 hail Mary Novena. Thanks mama Mary for hearing our prayer. This prayer is super powerful! Mama Mary truly intercede for our journey as it went very smooth. Try this out people, you will find the prayer is really awesome.

In Manila! Makati! Tagaytay! awesome! Protected and safe and enjoyable. THOUSAND THANKS MAMA MARY. LOVE YOU SO MUCH ♥♥♥

Tagaytay! Wonderful place ever. You can see the taal volcano surrounded by the lake. Daebak!

Riding horse! Not poney k. Lol

With little brother xD we paid cheap for 2 horses

And and and!!!!! Riding HORSE in TAGAYTAY of course XD WOAAAAA !!! ;)

Ferris weel for the 2nd time in my life, both in Philippines. I love ferris wheel!

I love zipline too! Most adventurous outdoor activity that I ever did in Tagaytay, Philipine.

As you can see, all of us in the photo  above together with our tour guide: info from diane XD thanks! However, I love Universal Studio Singapore more! Well, the best fun park I would say, so far.

Manila! ChinaTown, Binondo! Shopping heaven and food heaven. Gosh! I love Binondo aka Chinatown Manila ;) I am absolutely going this place again 2014. Ooh, next year! I can't wait to shop and eat again! Woaa, I am going nuts I would like to say. Best Shopping ever! 

Makati! Is where we stayed. My mum and I managed to attend feast of st francis asisi celebration in St Peter and Paul in Makati! Five minutes walk from our Hotel XD Blessed!

Amazed by the church as my first eucharist mass celebration there. I've been to many Manila churches before, which was last year. Big, pretty, amazed, unique and wow! I just love it! 2014. I am going to celebrate eucharist in different church everyday? I am going search for the mass services in every church then ;)

Selfish, greed, materialistic side of me

As a woman, who dont like dresses, blouses, skirts, pants, jewelleries, handbags, perfume, sandals, belts purses, hairbands, nail polish and all girly stuff?! Gosh! Sale! Affordable price! Girls, can you resist from entering the korean fashion shop? God, have mercy on me. My eyes are full of stars now. Greed. Yummy. I cant imagine myself drawning in all the stuffs. I am going to be the happiest girl in the world. Shopaholic? Not yet that level? I hope so. XDD

I am worst in financial. I am bad, very bad. Shopping is my hobby especially window shopping with the girls xDD Sometimes, it is very hard for me to control myself from not looking at those pretty blouses. Tempting! Lord, have mercy on this sinner.

I realized that my closet is now overloaded with variety latest blouses? Kinda. Gosh, every 3/4 month I need to eliminate few outdated clothes to give away. Not only that, handbags on my couch now are more than 10. Urghh. Precaution, Pride is coming. Since last year my clothes, jewelleries and handbags collections are mostly from over the sea, out of kk collection. Gosh, my mum bought a lot for us! I love you mum ♥♥♥ She is pampering her daughters with nice clothes, from her vacay : China, Indon, Singapore, KL. We even went Manila for shopping last year because all the blouses and all stuffs are pretty plus reasonable. Next month going to Manila shopping again. Gosh. I just cant wait! Wee~ Greed and proud are in me. YOLO. I am poses by sins. Help me.

I love to buy latest stuff "with conditions: under my budget and reasonable", I am willingly to share too or to give away too all the clothes if I can't fit anymore or outdated fashion. Will I give my favourite clothes to others? Selfish side of me. XDD

I love my family

We struggle and put a lot of afford to be a happy family. Tolerate, understanding, sow love, care for each other, advices, screams, quarrel, console and many more have taken control of all the happy moment together as family. It is pain for all of us, we shared. Let me be the love of my family, use me and all of us oh Lord. God hears our prayers. I believe that God hears my mum's prayer, my prayer might not as sincere as hers. I believe each of my family members pray for a happy family. I was touched hearing my little brother's birthday wish yesterday: "I wish our family will be happy family like right now". Lord, have mercy on us and hear us.

Yesterday yoyo's birthday

My birthday

With baby sister and lil brother

With siblings USS faye's birthday

P/s: Photos share showing that how much I love the moment we all together as a happy family. Strive to be one happy family. Lord, hear us.

We pray hard for my dad too. May God touch his life, fill him with love, patient, understanding, peace, joy, self control, and many more. Amen

Mum and dad my love♥♥♥

Lord, have Your way in me.

Who love their life? I love my life ;). To be able to breath clean air is more than enough dear Lord. Do I want more? Oh yeah! I want more if You provide more and more and more. Have mercy on me oh Lord.

Greed might sometimes conquer my head but I try my best not too affected by it. Greed is my biggest weakness, tendency to want more has taken control of my life without realising it. Pathetic me. But You have make me realise that all in the greed in me make me losing self control. Everything has fallen apart! Discontent with life, sigh taken control and jealousy plays hide and clap! Wanting more and more make me feel awful! Urghh...

I love you Lord, sincerely love you. But something is blocking me, blocking me from my own feeling. LOL

Lord, will You allow me to follow the signboard toward GREED Street? How about WALL Street? Wall banging my head? Have Your way in me, Lord.

St. Aiden died on 31 august

Saturday memorials of the Blessed Virgin Mary

On Saturdays in Ordinary Time when there is no obligatory memorial, an optional memorial of the Blessed Virgin Mary is allowed. The memorial is a remembrance of the maternal example and discipleship of the Blessed Virgin Mary who, strengthened by faith and hope, on that great Saturday on which Our Lord lay in the tomb, was the only one of the disciples to hold vigil in expectation of the Lord s resurrection; it is a prelude and introduction to the celebration of Sunday, the weekly memorial of the Resurrection of Christ; and it is a sign that the Virgin Mary is continuously present and operative in the life of the Church .

St Aidan (- 651)

He was born in Ireland and became a monk of Iona. When King Oswald of Northumbria asked for help in converting his kingdom, Aidan was sent there and established his monastery on the island of Lindisfarne. Assisted by King Oswald and by his successor King Oswy, he preached the Gospel, founded churches and monasteries, and freed slaves throughout the kingdom. He died at Bamburgh in Northumberland in 651. He is venerated for his simplicity and poverty, for his love of prayer and the scriptures, and for his care of the sick and the poor. With him are remembered all the holy abbots and bishops, teachers, and missionaries who made Lindisfarne a cradle of English Christianity.

31 August SAINT RAYMUND NONNATUS(1204-1240) 

St. Raymund Nonnatus was born in Catalonia, in the year 1204, and was descended of a gentleman's family of a small fortune. In his childhood he seemed to find pleasure only in his devotions and serious duties. His father perceiving in him an inclination to a religious state, took him from school, and sent him to take care of a farm which he had in the country. Raymund readily obeyed, and, in order to enjoy the opportunity of holy solitude, kept the sheep himself, and spent his time in the mountains and forests in holy meditation and prayer. Some time after, he joined the new Order of Our Lady of Mercy for the redemption of captives, and was admitted to his profession at Barcelona by the holy founder, St. Peter Nolasco. Within two or three years after his profession, he was sent into Barbary with a considerable sum of money, where he purchased, at Algiers, the liberty of a great number of slaves. When all this treasure was exhausted, he gave himself up as a hostage for the ransom of certain others. This magnanimous sacrifice served only to exasperate the Mohammedans, who treated him with uncommon barbarity, till, fearing lest if he died in their hands they should lose the ransom which was to be paid for the slaves for whom he remained a hostage, they gave orders that he should be treated with more humanity. Hereupon he was permitted to go abroad about the streets, which liberty he made use of to comfort and encourage the Christians in their chains, and he converted and baptized some Mohammedans. For this the governor condemned him to be put to death by thrusting a stake into the body, but his punishment was commuted, and he underwent a cruel bastinado. This torment did not daunt his courage. So long as he saw souls in danger of perishing eternally, he thought he had yet done nothing. St. Raymund had no more money to employ in releasing poor captives, and to speak to a Mohammedan upon the subject of religion was death. He could, however, still exert his endeavors, with hopes of some success, or of dying a martyr of charity. He therefore resumed his former method of instructing and exhorting both the Christians and the infidels. The governor, who was enraged, ordered our Saint to be barbarously tortured and imprisoned till his ransom was brought by some religious men of his Order, who were sent with it by St. Peter. Upon his return to Spain, he was nominated cardinal by Pope Gregory IX., and the Pope, being desirous to have so holy a man about his person, called him to Rome. The Saint obeyed, but went no further than Cardona, when he was seized with a violent fever, which proved mortal. He died on the 31st of August, in the year 1240, the thirty-seventh of his age. Lives of the Saints, by Alban Butler, Benziger Bros. ed. [1894]
By Laudate

Bring God Everywhere

God is my refuge and provider. He really provide when He wants me to do 'mission'. I just knew it when He calls and preparing task for me. There are always a good sign with a good intention. To say NO will be the last choice that I will choose because I know that He will not give something that is out of my ability. In God I find Happiness and Joy. Not only that, when I bring God in someone's life, something good absolutely happened; they feel the love, joy, happiness, peace, calm, understanding, wisdom, self control and support as well. I am blessed to be affirmed by few friends whom I journey with and walk with before. I am now identify more and more gifts that God has granted me. I LOVE YOU GOD. 我爱你 ♥♥♥ 신,사랑해.

Recently, I attended friend's wedding in Miri. I decided to go even though many "things" are trying to stop me, I just knew; I even almost missed my flight. That was one of my surprise surprise mission. To sow love in my friend's wedding and to experience such a detail wedding were awesome! Helping prepared the sandwiches, mop the floor, carried stuff and washing stuffs made my day great. I was doing it with love, joy, happiness, privilege, grateful and many more. To be able to help was my biggest happiness. As I remembered, Sharon did a lot of works too, interior designer, carried stuffs, cut fruits and sunquick maker xD I did enjoyed every single moment I spent there. Such a best experience!

My highlight of Beatrine's wedding was: to be able to lead night prayer together with sharon and beatrine; plus the mother who slept earlier. To bring people in a deep night prayer is equal to bring someone's heart near to God and put their TRUST to God especially when wedding is just the next day. Now: I pray that Beatrine and husband will be one of the family that near to God's heart. Amen.

Mission: Me

My mission is more to one on one? Yea. While doing it alone, I have to admit it. Approach someone with God's lead and Holy Spirit's guide, I am still standing still today. Pheww... Without God, I am nothing.

Meeting many people who has cross my path is not a coincidence, God's plan, they are one of the precious gift in my life. Realizing it or not, I've learned a lot throughout the journey. Honesty, prayer mode, each other, mission, vision, etc.

God believes in me. He always show me the right things to do. I am GLAD. Thank you God. Journey to Miri will start tomorrow. I might not know what will happen tomorrow; tomorrow is mystery. I pray that everything will be alright, even though it might slightly crack. Lord, let me be the trouble solver in Your Name, Jesus, lead my way I pray. Amen

My path, my decision

Continue master is my aim in life now, however, waiting for the perfect time is crucial. Money is not an issue but I made it as an issue previously, because I dont feel right? Actually, October am going Manila again with family, family bonding. So, I decided to not apply, which I wish it is the right choice I make. After have a deep thought, I realized that study in country is no longer became my desire. I love traveling, why dont I travel and study at the same time? New place, new environment and new country. Study abroad! Oh yes! that is what God has planned for me? Discerning. I love study Lord.

To be honest, to be away from family now is not a right time. I am needed in here, many things happened, outta control. Besides, I love travelling,  shopping, food, and kk. Hahahha... I cant live in lacking? Hahha... just another lame issue actually.

Dear God, 

You are my guide. Please lead my path. If I am away from the path You had prepared, let not give up on me, send anyone to guide me. I like to rebel sometimes. Holy spirit, guide me. Amen.

Sincerely, 

Daughter.

Captivating vs I Kissed Dating Goodbye

I am reading these two books since last few months, yea! I am outdated. I found that I fall love these two books, the authors are; Joshua Harris and John&Staci Eldredge. Even though I haven't finished reading yet, I am actually enjoying read it for my bedtime story. Yea. Once, I finished it, what next? I mean I dont have any books to read. I love to read book but it is very hard for me to buy my own, I rather borrow from my friends than buy. Nah.. These two books aren't mine, my friend. ;)

CAPTIVATING: book that unveiling the mystery of Woman's Soul. I am 100% recommended to all girls out there to read this book because I find it very interesting! A special nudge from angels of God I would like to say. To be a Godly Woman is not as easy as everyone thought. Sacrifices needed? Actions needed? Lets ponder upon all that. "Your heart matters more than anything else in all creations. The desires you had as a little girl and the longings you still feel as a woman- they are telling you of the life God created you to live. He offers to come now as the Herp of your story to rescue your heart and release you to live as a fully alive and feminine woman. A woman who is trully captivating." (John&Stasi, 2005) Every chapter captives me with the fact what will I, every woman will feel towards fairy tales and many more. I found encouragement, uplifting, affirmations, confidence, healing, forgiveness, empowering, waiting, blessing, loved, freedom and many more after half way reading CAPTIVATING.

Do you know that "God's version of flowers and choclates and candlelight dinner comes in the form of sunsets and falling stars, moonlight on lakes and cricket symphonies; warm wind, swaying trees, lush gardens and fierce devotion. This romancing is immensely personal" (John&Stasi, 2005) God knows what takes my breath away, He is my romantic God ever. Thank you God, you make me feel wonderful, precious and special. All the times, we blame God for abandoned us, but actually we are the one who has abandoned him. He shows us many special treat in our life but we tend to close our heart to Him. "But yea, we must choose to open our heart again so that we might hear his whispers, receive his kisses. It may not come the way we thought or perhaps even thought we desired it to." (John&Staci, 2005).

To be honest, I've personally experienced God's love for me, it so wonderful, awesome, loved, blessed, grace and special. He gives me a new hope, of being LOVE. "I felt a little silly in asking, for I knew the truth- that God had already proven his love for me. He had sent his only Son, Jesus, to die for me (John 3:16). He is an extravagant, abundant lover and he loves to reveal his heart to us again and again" (John&Stasi, 2005). Read Captivating will eventually transform you become a genuine you and free woman with the feminine HEART.

I KISSED DATING GOODBYE: I highly recommended this book to man and woman of God out there. To be honest, As I gone through the 1st part, I personally feel a bit "outside" because this book started with college guys' life and I dont feel really connected. Perhaps I am not really into this type of book. However, there was an urge for me to continue read it before I sleep "bedtime story" Yea! I found it interesting! For me, as a woman, guard my heart, dear Lord. Be the keeper of my heart. #winks

In Proverbs 4:23 "Above all else, guard your heart." How should we do this? First, picture guarding your heart as if your heart were a criminal tied in a chair who would like to break free and knock you over the head. In other words, protect yourself from your heart's sinfulness. Keep a wary eye on your heart, knowing that it can do you damage if it is not carefully watched (Joshua, 2003). Not only that, the beauty of purity: "Purity doesn't happen by accident; it requires obedience to God. But this obedience is not burdensome or overbearing. If we desire purity, we have to fight for it. Only the pure may be vessels of His Holy Spirit." (Joshua, 2003)

Practice makes perfect-or perfectly imperfect. The love we practice in dating not only shows the world Christ's love; it also prepares us for our future relationships. As we relate to others today, we form patterns that we'll take with us into our marriages. For this reason, we must practice not only sincere love but also commitment-based love (Joshua, 2003). I love this book! It make me realize many things that I've never known and all the stories really encourage me, my struggles and many more. This book is a refreshment for my soul. Cant wait to finish it xD

Perhaps I've never date before? Do I? so I feel that this book and me are not really connected. But, it is a good sources for me, and all readers out there to discover something new or common thing. Question!! *raise hand* "Ummpphh... if that person like you but you dont like him and y'all go out, that is not date right? Hangout!? Am I right? For the sake of friend what? Ahahaha" Personally, about dating: not yet the right time? Hahha... Okay, for me, I surrender my calling and devotion to God, sacred life? Marriage? Nun? Waiting patiently for God's perfect time and not mine absolutely. Well, the ultimate purpose of life gonna be, I wanna be Godly woman first, then to be a Saint? Hee xD Lets us pray for each other so we can be Saint in this new era. Love God with our whole heart "Full blast". ♥♥♥

Lord, we humbly bow down and on our knees asking for Your mercy. May we never turn away from Your radiance of LOVE. Let the fire in our heart to desire live for You flame, till the end of the day. May our love for You, fuel a lifelong, passionate pursuit of righteousness. Dear God, heavenly father, hear us Your children on earth. We love You so much. 신,사랑해! ♥♥♥

SPECIAL KIDS?

There is only 1 word can describe about KIDS; adorable! Children are the gift from God. Can you imagine their are so cutie pies plus the cheeky smile? Besides, their cheek is soft, fluffy, smooth like satin, and elastic like gummy bear. Cute, adorable, comel, cumil, loveable. I love kids very much especially toddler. You might be blur now; what on earth this girl is talking about? Am I going to have baby soon? Haha. It might sound ridiculous for me to tell you that.... I am actually "dealing" with kids; to be exact:therapy and teaching for special needs kids.

First of all, I want to thank God for this golden opportunity that He has given me, He knows that I love kids so very and many much! Only He knows. Lol. It was by God's grace I feel blessed, which to teach special needs has never crossed my mind, but teaching as in become a teacher was one of my greatest desire ;). To be honest, I am doubting His plan for me. Is it really what He has ready for me? Well, now I wanna say that, yea! It is. Affirmation by affirmation I get from Him, He affirms me through bible verse and friends. Honestly, working with a good, generous, kind and loving bosses really make me feel blessed, cared and loved! I am beyond happy: overwhelming. I love my working environment too plus good colleagues ever xD Fun, young, hilarious, one of a kind, patient, encouraging and vibrant.

My kids aka my anakz, known as disability kids as well; they are special, very special in their own way. They have autism, microcephaly, echolaly, down sydrom, hyperactive sydrom, speech delay etc, these all are just special name. They are adorable you know. I love all the kids, especially my anakz. Many sweet and sour moments between all of us. Yea, they might not verbal, only vocalising, behavioural problems, slow in doing things, cant walk properly, too hyper, cant control their reflex, slow talk, poor memory, features imperfect, love stimming; as in their own world, love sensory thing, lack of awareness,  can talk about dinosaur all day long, repeated what you say, running without direction and many more. But they are good kids, when you show your love, prayer and care to them. I know how it feel because I manage to feel their sweet little love. It is beyond amazing, the fruit of my little love for them because they are special in my eyes. I cry knowing that I am going to leave them. I miss them so much. Yea, they all are just so cute! Hugs and kisses from mama to all my dearies ;)

Well, when it happened, it is just happened. Accept it, every thing happened for a reason. Put our trust in the Lord. He'll reveal it, the plan He has for you and me, BELIEVE. Here I share my everyday prayer toward my special kids goes like this "Let my touch today become spiritual touch in their personal growth with God and continue be the blessing as an instrument of God with their own special way. May they feel the same peace that God has given me Amen."

One good question from my sweet friend: Have you ever thought before why they are created? Why only me experience it? "We might say that". Well, I believe that God wants to tell us that not everyone has a perfect features, image and high intelligence like normal human being. We are called to be grateful with what we have. We have a perfect image and intelligence that can be use to help God to evangelist His love story and His greatness through our tangible experience. However, those kids are way too different from us. They are created for a purpose, to bring everyone closer to God, give thanks with the perfect features and intelligence. To plant perseverance and patient in everyone's they meet. They are pure as a the holy water.

Let me share my simple prayer for special kids out there:

I pray that all the disabilities kids out there will be protected by You God, dont let them suffer from the mental or physical abuse. Please save them from all that things that worried me the most. Some parents or person might thought these kids are useless or troublesome for them. Please please please, they are innocent, they have never wanted to be born in that disabilities. Dear Abba, You know what is the best for them. With humble heart, hear this sinner's prayer.

P/s: I do really hope my biggest prayer to open a charity special needs kids' theraphy for the NEEDY. I believe that some poor or needy parents might be thinking "why am I always the unlucky one" but some might be thinking "thank you for the blessing You have given us, our kid has brought us near to You". I pray that the Rich and poor will have the opportunity to learn, which bring to equality. Everyone deserves the best as long as God's people generosity flow endlessly. X') Let's pray together for them. Hugs them tightly.

"It is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing. It is not how much we give, but how much love we put in the giving." - Mother Teresa.

Should I Give up?

Dear God,

I am a great sinner, I try very hard not to sin but this world has dragged me too far from You. I am belong to worldly world and not You any more. Why does it happened to me? Is it only me? Your chosen one? Every time I pray,  I dont feel You. As if there is a wall between us, blocking me from reaching you. What are those thing you wanna tell me, You seems too far to be heard, the noises came from the vehicles drawn Your voice. I know there are many U-turns in front but... is it too late for me to turn? I've been wasting my time to reach the world and now I need to make U-turn to bring You along with me? I am doubting, can I reach there on time? I mean to the worldly world. It sounds like the worldly world is fun and it can't wait me right? Yea, it is fun! Or am I the one who can't wait for the world? I am confuse with myself, where am I now Lord?

-Unknown

Question to ponder upon tonite.

Why are we so eager to chase the worldly thing and neglected God behind of us? Leaving Him without saying goodbye or sms goodbye for the sake of worldly world? Why can't we bring along God to our so called worldly world? Why God can't join us there? Why must we go there without Him? There are many WHY. It really frustrating to hear all the why. Will God feel sad for the rejection that we shot? I invite all of us to ponder this matter before sleep.

It is normal to fall into temptation and make mistakes, we all did, none of us is perfect and will escape from it, we learnt from mistakes which make we realize how imperfect we are. It also teach us how to stand still till the very end. One thing we need to remember, God who always just right next to us, if we decide to leave Him, He wont do the same thing because He is the faithful God. Only Him can make you glad, joy, peace, loved, blessed and many more. Don't we wanna taste the greatness of God like before? Lets take courage in everything we do for the Lord! Be a man or woman of God, bring Him everywhere we go, walk with Him daily! He will lead our path to the right one, and we will find PEACE that the world can't give. We ever exprienced it before! How could your dont remember all the sweet moment! Try to recall the feeling before. Awesome isn't it? However, the big matter now, Do we BELIEVE in Him? Ask ourself about it, be honest to ourself. God is always waiting for our answer, everyday and every second. If our answer is YES. Let everyday and every second be a YES to the Lord. Take courage, open our heart to Him, surrender all the obstacles and burden to Him. Receive the anointing of Holy Spirit. Let His touch become the wake up call and healing of our life.

I leave you with the "chasing pavement by Adele", 1 lyric which really good.

'Should I give up or should I keep on chasing pavement even if it leads nowhere'

Let me share my prayer.

Dear God, hear my simple prayer, from the deepest of Your humble servant's heart, I pray that You will never give up on us even we have neglected You in the 1st place. You know our hearts' desire, we want you to be with You and we want the best for our life but we forgot to put You 1st in our life. I bet that is our biggest mistake Lord. Please forgive us, grant us Your mercy. Right this moment God, I pray that all the youth in this world will put You 1st in their life, let You be the centre of our life. Give us 2nd chance Lord to run toward You, Your kingdom, will You give us 2nd chance Lord? I believe You will because You are forgiving Abba. You'll never let us drawn in the Bermuda Triangle mud. Thank you Lord for hearing my prayer. I seal my prayer with the precious blood of Jesus Christ. In Jesus most precious and mighty name. Amen.

Have a blessed day ahead prince and princess of God. #winks

Date or Death?

Have you ever think of your own death? How its gonna be? Are you ready for your own death? Do you scared of dying? Honestly, Cory monteith's death was a wake up call for me. It make me do a lot of reflections unconsciously. Life is so short, spend it wisely especially with the one that you love. For me, my family ;)

Photo credit to Natasha Ch Photographer

Frankly, I am scared of death. Sometimes, I don't. Correction: many times, I don't. Lol! Yea. I am laughing.  I am willingly give my life for you. Correction: you, my beloved family members. I cant take the pain again to lost any of you, let me sacrifice myself in your place. Lord, hear my prayer. Your life is more valuable than me, your future. I love myself, but I love you all more than myself. I will not let my greed conquer me, if you need any organ in me, just take half of it with my free will, if I am still alive. Promise ;) If I go before y'all, please "donate" all the functional organs to the needy, I am okay to be buried in lacking rather than see the needy in suffering. This is my only last will. Lord, hear me. Dear my beloved family members, wo ai ni men 사랑해 pyaar heh, aishiteru, rak rak mak mak.

Dear late grandma, my mamatua, I miss you so much! So damn hurt much. It has been 4 years 3 months and 24 days. I cant forget that moment, I still cant believe it! It's like yesterday you were still right beside me, sleeping, hug me and staring at me without my knowledge. It was so clear. You leave me without telling me, I was in church that day you were gone. I was holding an olive oil for you as you ever complained about your numb and pain leg. Mom sms me saying that you fainted while I was in mass. I offered my prayer by begging God to take my life instead of yours or else take half of my life for you, till I meet you, pleaaassseee. I cant live without you, no! I cant! God, I am not greed but she is the one who loves me very much and sincere deep love me. She was the one whom I always called crying on phone during my matrix day, homesick. Dont. Please. I was "still" alone in church that time, 1st year. After many years, I accepted the fact that God loves you more than I do. Such a relieved. The least i can do for you mamatua, memories we created together were recited rosary with my reluctant faces and talk about God. Mamatua, now I know why you always pray for yourself especially your health. God, forgive me for judging my grandma's prayer, I wonder why she didnt pray for others? Coz she was not called to pray for others. Now I understood everyone has different calling, forgive me Lord. Lord, have mercy.

As a human being, we make mistakes all over again. Have we ever think to correct all the mistakes we have done? Have we ever thought about it? REPENT is the word. Haha..

I might not yet ready for my death, but my last will gonna be :

1. "Donating" all my useful organs for the needy, family, y'all need to make sure for needy.

2. My funeral mass' flower: red roses. I'll prepare money to buy all that, no worries.

3. My funeral mass songs: how great is our God-hillsong "favourite song", all for love-hillsong, "helene by MCR" however this one I dont think will be approved by church! Heheh... I have no idea of funeral songs. My late grandma's one all in kadazan. 

4. Family members, must smile when you wanna make last speech in front of my death face, with tears okay, must smile k ;) wink if you can. Mum, dad, ling, gung, yo n yi, I love you all sincerely and deeply. Muaxxx! Hehhe.. please dont cry. XD Jesus loves y'all. I pray in Jesus Christ' precious blood to seal and cover y'all from any harm. Amen. 

5. Burry me with my yellow Good news bible! My first and only english bible. Memories of my faith.

6. Some friends indeed must come with their flower or else postage the flower yea. Do tell my 2 special friends about it k, y'all know that, their photo in my previous2 blogs. Hahah...

I am pretty much have some idea for my funeral. I might be added some new ideas anytime. Do update yea. Hahaha... xp

Dear God, I pray for all souls in purgatory and anywhere around this world, may your holy touch bring them together with you in heaven. I pray especially for my grandma's soul, Laura Liew ah moi, liaw mui jin and wong ho siew. Please save their souls, bring all souls to heaven. Amen.

Hear me oh Lord from the deepest hope of your humble sinner's heart. Amen. Only You can understand my prayer Lord. Thank you Lord.

"Jesus said to them, “When you pray, say this, ‘Father:

May your holy name be honored; may your Kingdom come. Give us day by day the food we need. Forgive us our sins, for we forgive everyone who does us wrong. And do not bring us to hard testing.’"~Luke 11: 2-4

Sweet Love of God

Dear my friends,

I might not know how I react when you tell me your pain.
I might not know how to help when you really need it.
I might not know how to affirm when you really need it.
I might not know how to entertain when you are really sad.
I might not know how to comfort when you are really troubled.
I might not know how to put into words all my prayers for you.
I might not know how to give advice when you really need it.
I might not know how to make you happy when you are really sad.

But my prayers always goes like this:

Photo credit to Elizabeth Blank

"Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. 

Where there is hatred let me sow love. 

Where there is injury let me sow pardon. 

Where there is doubt let me sow faith. 

Where there is despair let me give hope. 

Where there is darkness let me give light. 

Where there is sadness let me give joy." 

(Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi, 1181-1226)

I might not know what exactly I am doing or unconsciously knowing it, but I believe Lord hears my prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi. I do hope via my little action of LOVE ♥♥♥ by smile? Hugs? Touch? Listen? Quality time? Interact? Jokes? Suggestions? 

Has bring a small healing in your life.

I believe in Him, I have no doubt that every actions I do will be with His guide.

Pardon me if I had done wrong, acted wrongly, or said something bad to you, yes you.

My tongue might slippery sometimes, but my heart doesn't mean it.

May the ♥ Love ♥ of God be with us. With humble heart I pray. 사랑해♥♥♥ Blessed Sunday.

Muaxx

Mission of LOVE

♥♥♥ MISSION OF LOVE ♥♥♥

To love and to care for others are my greatest intentions since I've joined Lifefire Campus Ministry. Lifefire help me to identify my gifts, love myself and feel God (phase 1-unconsciously feel him, reflection needed). I am proud to say that I've grown drastically in Lifefire which I thank God so much for His grace. Without Him, I dont think I can be me like today. Praise the Lord! With the strong foundation I have, I made it till today, I am glad that I can spread God's love with the small love I have. Love till it very hurt, yummy sometimes, taste like McFlurry! Slurrrpp... So friends, lets love our enemy ;) It is fun! Hehe. When you do reflection about your life, God has made every little thing look beautiful when you treasure it ;). Thank you God #meLt I cant believe that I am so in love with you, Daddy God! 사랑해 ♥♥♥ How deep and how wide is my Love for You dear Daddy. Muaxx. Words cant describe my love for You. You have change my whole life from a messy faith to a fantastic faith. From misery to berseri-seri. Lol!!! I thank you Lord for every opportunity that I have. Thank you for the community, Bible Sharing Group(if you are interested, do let me know and I'll update you), workplace (special need children + cool colleagues)and great family & awesome friends.

"Your constant Love is better than life itself, and so I will praise You. I will give you thanks as long as I live; I will raise my hands to you in prayer. My soul will feast and be satisfied and I will sing glad songs of praise to You" ~ Psalm 63:3-5.

God, can I feel You?

I've been DYING wanna feel God in everything I do since my journey started with Him personally, last year? It actually took me quite some time to feel Him in my life, in His perfect time absolutely ;) I do believe that patient has taken SEVERE control during the duration of waiting. Wow! AmazinG! I just wanna praise the Lord, Lets sing praise and worship songs together friends ;)

Let me share more: There was a time that I feel him so near, in me, I feel like every thought, plan, suggestion, advice and move that I have are His. It is so real, even every whisper, every step I take and everything I do, He is just being REAL! He is there, in my sight guiding and smiling toward me. Again:SMILE XD. So cute isn't it?! I am just a normal human being who sins everyday, in my thought and in my words, yet He answered me with a surprised presence! How awesome is the feeling ;)

Daddy God, I just wanna become Your witness, to tell Your nation that You are my healer, provider, guide, protector, sweet and loving daddy, I am standing awe of You dear God, in Your presence I dwell. I have promise myself that I am not gonna take baby steps anymore like what I did before. In Jesus' name, I take courage and promise to take mummy steps. So friends, I invite you to come and join me to take COURAGE in everything we do for the best of God's nation and ourself. We need to make a radical change in people's mind and thought, we might not has the supernatural power to change everyone we want to, like Xmen and The avengers, it may be one living life touched but the countless blessing will be passed through as s/he shares. One is just a letter, dont be discouraged by it, let be a living witness to help others, many of them may need our help in many different areas: listening to their problems, comfort words from you, gentle smile, short prayer for them, just be there for them and, here I wanna share my prayer towards my special kids goes like this "Let my touch today become spiritual touch in their personal growth with God and continue be the blessing as an instrument of God with their own special way. Amen."

"In this way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven."~Mt 5:16.

Turn back to God.

Cun cun ^^ I admit that was a perfect time for me to turn back to God. In His time! I believe! I am stand in awe of You, Abba father. God, You are great. I love you ♥♥♥  사랑합니다 ^^ 무앟 무앟. ㅋㅋㅋ

God actually taught me few lessons while I was there, I can feel few slapped on my cute cheek. He actually changed my messy spiritual life to something OMG! Words can't describe, it was between Him and me, lot of reflection I gotta say ^^ The tears of Joy. Thank you God. I can feel the JOY. ReJoiCe! Thank You so much God. 무앟. ㅋㅋㅋ

From my beloved city, Kk, Flying to Kuching then Bintulu. Reached Bintulu, went Miri for no reason? Then come back to Bintulu again for easter vigil. It was unplanned plan. We never have any idea what we are doing? We celebrated our Ester Triduum in Bintulu (Holy Thursday and Ester vigil) and Miri (Good Friday). God is mystery, He works in a mysterious way. All I can say is "I love God".

By the way, just wanna tell that I quit my work "The Body Shop" on March because my work really challenge my spiritual life, summarize: spiritual life almost death, one bar left. Temptation not to go to church was 99.9% due to retail working hours, weekend you need to work and it always known as the peak days. 1 word to describe TIRED. Working in retail was really bring a big impact in my spiritual life. Eucharist indeed I missed the most. Quiet moment aka Adoration.  Talking about God? In tune with God? Ohhh... hard to say. If God calls me, line engaged.

Ho ho ho... Prodigal son is back!

Praise the Lord! Im now back on track xD. Lord, please forgive me, have mercy on me. My heart try to resist all the temptation but i failed. But I promise, starting today onwards, I'll try my very best. Hee... I just wanna thank God for everything. I love you. Your spirit command me to do what am I supposed to do. As the spirit leads, I did it. Thank God for making it possible. Disernment is most needed.

Reflection while in Miri. I realize one big thing. I need to move on, to reality.

After graduate from UMS, Lifefire is still no1 in my heart till today and forever. Perhaps my heart still there, as you know that Lifefire was the reason I've growth rapidly in spirituality and knowledge. The community I call my family of Christ that support me Iin my spiritual growth. I realized that as I growth older, I need to accept the fact that I am going to join other community out there, which suit me as a working adult. Am I right? Absolutely. Please growth in maturity and stand in reality even though sometimes it might be a little bit hard. It is time for you to leave everything to God. He knows the best for u and for lifefire. Chill Val. XD I really pray hard for this family-ness lifefire, my 1st awesome family, my faith foundation. Give praise to the Lord :)

Reflection while in Miri and Bintulu.

Yea, I miss leading P&W like last time in Lifefire. "Hossana" and "Our God is an awesome God". I feel God's presence during that moment, as the Holy spirit leads. Everything just so peace, so great. Worship all out for God. Sweet sweet love oh dear God. Hehehe... I need Disernment.  CCC 801.