I love my family

We struggle and put a lot of afford to be a happy family. Tolerate, understanding, sow love, care for each other, advices, screams, quarrel, console and many more have taken control of all the happy moment together as family. It is pain for all of us, we shared. Let me be the love of my family, use me and all of us oh Lord. God hears our prayers. I believe that God hears my mum's prayer, my prayer might not as sincere as hers. I believe each of my family members pray for a happy family. I was touched hearing my little brother's birthday wish yesterday: "I wish our family will be happy family like right now". Lord, have mercy on us and hear us.

Yesterday yoyo's birthday

My birthday

With baby sister and lil brother

With siblings USS faye's birthday

P/s: Photos share showing that how much I love the moment we all together as a happy family. Strive to be one happy family. Lord, hear us.

We pray hard for my dad too. May God touch his life, fill him with love, patient, understanding, peace, joy, self control, and many more. Amen

Mum and dad my love♥♥♥

Bring God Everywhere

God is my refuge and provider. He really provide when He wants me to do 'mission'. I just knew it when He calls and preparing task for me. There are always a good sign with a good intention. To say NO will be the last choice that I will choose because I know that He will not give something that is out of my ability. In God I find Happiness and Joy. Not only that, when I bring God in someone's life, something good absolutely happened; they feel the love, joy, happiness, peace, calm, understanding, wisdom, self control and support as well. I am blessed to be affirmed by few friends whom I journey with and walk with before. I am now identify more and more gifts that God has granted me. I LOVE YOU GOD. 我爱你 ♥♥♥ 신,사랑해.

Recently, I attended friend's wedding in Miri. I decided to go even though many "things" are trying to stop me, I just knew; I even almost missed my flight. That was one of my surprise surprise mission. To sow love in my friend's wedding and to experience such a detail wedding were awesome! Helping prepared the sandwiches, mop the floor, carried stuff and washing stuffs made my day great. I was doing it with love, joy, happiness, privilege, grateful and many more. To be able to help was my biggest happiness. As I remembered, Sharon did a lot of works too, interior designer, carried stuffs, cut fruits and sunquick maker xD I did enjoyed every single moment I spent there. Such a best experience!

My highlight of Beatrine's wedding was: to be able to lead night prayer together with sharon and beatrine; plus the mother who slept earlier. To bring people in a deep night prayer is equal to bring someone's heart near to God and put their TRUST to God especially when wedding is just the next day. Now: I pray that Beatrine and husband will be one of the family that near to God's heart. Amen.

My path, my decision

Continue master is my aim in life now, however, waiting for the perfect time is crucial. Money is not an issue but I made it as an issue previously, because I dont feel right? Actually, October am going Manila again with family, family bonding. So, I decided to not apply, which I wish it is the right choice I make. After have a deep thought, I realized that study in country is no longer became my desire. I love traveling, why dont I travel and study at the same time? New place, new environment and new country. Study abroad! Oh yes! that is what God has planned for me? Discerning. I love study Lord.

To be honest, to be away from family now is not a right time. I am needed in here, many things happened, outta control. Besides, I love travelling,  shopping, food, and kk. Hahahha... I cant live in lacking? Hahha... just another lame issue actually.

Dear God, 

You are my guide. Please lead my path. If I am away from the path You had prepared, let not give up on me, send anyone to guide me. I like to rebel sometimes. Holy spirit, guide me. Amen.

Sincerely, 

Daughter.

Sweet Love of God

Dear my friends,

I might not know how I react when you tell me your pain.
I might not know how to help when you really need it.
I might not know how to affirm when you really need it.
I might not know how to entertain when you are really sad.
I might not know how to comfort when you are really troubled.
I might not know how to put into words all my prayers for you.
I might not know how to give advice when you really need it.
I might not know how to make you happy when you are really sad.

But my prayers always goes like this:

Photo credit to Elizabeth Blank

"Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. 

Where there is hatred let me sow love. 

Where there is injury let me sow pardon. 

Where there is doubt let me sow faith. 

Where there is despair let me give hope. 

Where there is darkness let me give light. 

Where there is sadness let me give joy." 

(Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi, 1181-1226)

I might not know what exactly I am doing or unconsciously knowing it, but I believe Lord hears my prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi. I do hope via my little action of LOVE ♥♥♥ by smile? Hugs? Touch? Listen? Quality time? Interact? Jokes? Suggestions? 

Has bring a small healing in your life.

I believe in Him, I have no doubt that every actions I do will be with His guide.

Pardon me if I had done wrong, acted wrongly, or said something bad to you, yes you.

My tongue might slippery sometimes, but my heart doesn't mean it.

May the ♥ Love ♥ of God be with us. With humble heart I pray. 사랑해♥♥♥ Blessed Sunday.

Muaxx

Turn back to God.

Cun cun ^^ I admit that was a perfect time for me to turn back to God. In His time! I believe! I am stand in awe of You, Abba father. God, You are great. I love you ♥♥♥  사랑합니다 ^^ 무앟 무앟. ㅋㅋㅋ

God actually taught me few lessons while I was there, I can feel few slapped on my cute cheek. He actually changed my messy spiritual life to something OMG! Words can't describe, it was between Him and me, lot of reflection I gotta say ^^ The tears of Joy. Thank you God. I can feel the JOY. ReJoiCe! Thank You so much God. 무앟. ㅋㅋㅋ

From my beloved city, Kk, Flying to Kuching then Bintulu. Reached Bintulu, went Miri for no reason? Then come back to Bintulu again for easter vigil. It was unplanned plan. We never have any idea what we are doing? We celebrated our Ester Triduum in Bintulu (Holy Thursday and Ester vigil) and Miri (Good Friday). God is mystery, He works in a mysterious way. All I can say is "I love God".

By the way, just wanna tell that I quit my work "The Body Shop" on March because my work really challenge my spiritual life, summarize: spiritual life almost death, one bar left. Temptation not to go to church was 99.9% due to retail working hours, weekend you need to work and it always known as the peak days. 1 word to describe TIRED. Working in retail was really bring a big impact in my spiritual life. Eucharist indeed I missed the most. Quiet moment aka Adoration.  Talking about God? In tune with God? Ohhh... hard to say. If God calls me, line engaged.

Ho ho ho... Prodigal son is back!

Praise the Lord! Im now back on track xD. Lord, please forgive me, have mercy on me. My heart try to resist all the temptation but i failed. But I promise, starting today onwards, I'll try my very best. Hee... I just wanna thank God for everything. I love you. Your spirit command me to do what am I supposed to do. As the spirit leads, I did it. Thank God for making it possible. Disernment is most needed.

Reflection while in Miri. I realize one big thing. I need to move on, to reality.

After graduate from UMS, Lifefire is still no1 in my heart till today and forever. Perhaps my heart still there, as you know that Lifefire was the reason I've growth rapidly in spirituality and knowledge. The community I call my family of Christ that support me Iin my spiritual growth. I realized that as I growth older, I need to accept the fact that I am going to join other community out there, which suit me as a working adult. Am I right? Absolutely. Please growth in maturity and stand in reality even though sometimes it might be a little bit hard. It is time for you to leave everything to God. He knows the best for u and for lifefire. Chill Val. XD I really pray hard for this family-ness lifefire, my 1st awesome family, my faith foundation. Give praise to the Lord :)

Reflection while in Miri and Bintulu.

Yea, I miss leading P&W like last time in Lifefire. "Hossana" and "Our God is an awesome God". I feel God's presence during that moment, as the Holy spirit leads. Everything just so peace, so great. Worship all out for God. Sweet sweet love oh dear God. Hehehe... I need Disernment.  CCC 801.

Dear My Lovely God

Dear Daddy God,

I've been praying so hard, You are so close yet I feel so far. Why? why? why? 왜? 왜? 왜? 몰라... 훟!! I just need your tangible feedback maybe a nudge from an angel. Wooaaa... As if I can feel it. 하하! Yea, you know sort of thing~

To be honest, since I came back from Kuch, «see my previous blog» Life has been so uncertain, hard, full of gravel, challenging due to the all of sudden problems, spiritual walfare, spiritually tired, or maybe I am too sensitive?

Tell me why my Life is full with misery? Why others...? Why...? Why I need to face all the problems as I reach that place? why and why and why? Thats the famous word that I always throw to God. Hahaha... Dont you feel like wanna kiss me? Kiss me with your palm. Huh? huh? hahha!

I realized that My relationship with God start to... you know~ I know you dont know, so listen:: I think I love you, but the love is kinda almost fade lar God. Maybe... Yeaa... We can just be close friend instead of best friend, I msg you, you reply. You msg me, Let me think 1st whether should I reply you or not coz Your msg is almost the same like the previous one. So You please tell me, should I reply??? Since I missed everything I love after starting working life, I feel so alone in this world. Hardly to feel You lar God. Your msgs sound so old school to me, maybe some part of me giving up on You. I didnt mean it but eventually I did it. From time to time, I hardly see your msgs. You wanna know why? coz I switch off my other phone, the number you always contacted me. I know I am bad. It is because I dont wanna see Your msg, then cry and blame myself for being not the old me and blame You for being so kind to me. You understand me more than I know myself, but I dont wanna know all that coz its killing me inside! Slicing my heart slowly, its so painful like the pain that I've gone thru. Your encouragement is like a sword can make me feel more hurtful < that time lar>

If you wanna say:: family? I only can count my Lifefire family which I managed to join them 2 times only. That is the time that I actually just can release my stress however cant feel Him, my prayer cant reach lar. Can you imagine that? I cant feel Him, how sad is that, obviously a sinner to-be. I only can feel the people lar. Hehehe... Not only that, after I feel high a bit, there will be always thing make you down, ON THE DAY ITSELF. How sad~ Arghh.. Who cares? I care actually .

From time to time, I said to myself: Val, be strong, all the problems are just a piece of cake for God to handle all that. Its my mind saying that, not my heart. However I agree with my mind. Actually, one of the reason I am happie is because Friends of mine:: from Kuch n Miri are the close faith that actually make me feel excited with all things! Heard that they wanna come was the best thing ever! Even though we are not connected very much on that time but I make a promise to myself to be strong! Never let myself down. Seek ye 1st the kingdom of God.

Before the date come! 1st of Nov . Eh... No... 31st of Oct.. Yea.. I feel that all the stress burdened me, my mum msg me saying that I have been changed lar, I dont tell her my holiday lar, they wanna make soul mass lar, all the things lar that make me worry much! Why? why? why? why now? Part of me feel guilty for not able to attend soul mass for my late grandma. On that day itself, Feel like wanna tell Nick and Pat that I cant join them. Actually I did, in joking way saying it. Haha... But the verse "let the death bury itself you come follow me".

Thank you God! It was a relieve that You sent Your two precious prince and princess of God to rescue me! Perfect time! Your time is always perfect, perfect for everything! You make things possible! I still cant believe that my 5 days holiday approved as well!!! Epic interview session ever!! I believe that God is with me during interview!! Muahahaha!!! Journey to Kaingaran was cool and fruitful. God's grace and blessing. Thank God for making it possible especially with unplanned plan! Praise You.

"This God - how perfect are his deeds, how dependable his words! He is like a shield for all who seek his protection. The lord alone is God. God alone is our defence. This God is my strong refuge. He makes my pathway safe. He makes me sure-footed as a deer; he keeps me safe on the mountains. He trains me for battle, so that I can use the strongest bow." ~2 Samuel 22:29-35

Daddy God, You are epic and hilarious XD I love you. 사랑해요 ^ ^ ♥♥♥ （≧∇≦）

What on earth I am doing here?

Dear God, do you know how grateful I am to feel You in my life. 사랑해 ♥ ❤ ♥

Kuching trip was one of your beautiful and wonderful plan for me! It was full of fun and fruitful journey. You provide everything, You make things possible. BESIDES!! My journey was blessed with few wonderful friends whom you sent! which I adore them so so much!! Thank you God! For your great great LOVE.

Few weeks ago. To be precise! Early September! I've decided to send my resume to Kuching Factory! I click! and indeed! Sent! Yea, I know I am kinda insane~ Ha... Ha... Ha... Seriously I've never even thinking to work there! Like hell no! Hahahaha.. Its just I've ever strongly telling my fren that I aint gonna work there. Imagine! Flying to kuching is like "impossible!!!" I, myself cant believe it! Ridiculous man! Oh~ Nevermind, just give a try. No harm rite?

The next morning, friday. Tuttt.. Tuttt... «monotone» Phone call~ What!!! Interview in Kuch on 12 Sept?? You gotta be kidding me God! Trolol What is this? Prank call from heaven? Hmmm~ with a reluctant hand, I'll just say yes in the 1st place. Oh no!! Mom has turned to devil, she forbid me to go! At d end, Free!! Hahaha~ kidding mum. Love you mum ;p

So, I told Nick, senior Lifefire aka my good friend of Faith aka friend bergila-gila about my interview. And guess what!! In his message, he was happy excited for me!! Happy of course! :B Thanks for the warm welcome message Nick. Lol! Lifefire aura.. Understandable ^^ I was seriously worried about transportation, place to stay etc.. Gosh! God, You will provide rite? I believe in You. However, still worried. care not. Gosh!! I bought one way ticket so mum wont be very angry. Ahahhaha... Troublesome daughter is me! Forgive me Lord. As if I escape from house without mum fully permission some more. :D Rebel :D gonna tell my future grandchildren how extreme my lyfe was! HISTORY man! -Skip that part-

2nd time arrived airport all by "Myself"! Meow meow again! ;p Hey! I come by faith, and by sight also lar. Miahahaha... Thank you so much warrior of God! Nicholas Alvin George! Praise God for sending this warrior to help me to find my prince charming. God! You are great! Ahahaha... Thank you for the transportation which is a blessing from God to you and your familia Nick. With the pumpkin horse we ride, I finally reach the destination. However! I couldnt find my prince charming due to many procedures need to be done! "Working permit, labour fee etc!" wahahaha... What??? Why called me in the 1st place? If I know, I wont come~ Like serious. Hmm~ Sad giler beb! Feel like cinta terhalang. Went there without 100% permission then otw ada problem sumore~ God, You gotta be kidding me? Hehehe.. Kidding God. Love you. Haha...

Okay! Fruitful 10 days I can say lar!!! Awesome! All about God! How awesome is Our God!! Love you love you love you God!! Later i'll edit my few days there. No time now. Gtg! Wait la'er ;p God bless!

Journey to Manila was a BLESSING

It was by faith my dear. You know what?? Ok!!! The first thing before flight!! Only one guy will be following which initially suppose be two guy as they are so called bodyguard!! Gosh!!! One of my sister fren cant join us "guy". Alright thats fine, we can handle it. Three days before going, we did Devine Mercy for protection, guidance, weather, health and many more. It was Awesome!!! Me, mummy and both sisters joined even though Vannesssa was in KK during that time. Well, it is a basic preparation before Travel. Come before the Lord, offer our life to Him for His guidance and protection. Do trust in Him and He'll hear your prayer. 

On that day itself 2nd August, one of our friend called and said that she missed her flight from Sandakan!!! Then, her new flight gonna be ten minute before our flight!! Gosh!!! What can I say about it!!! Insane!!! At the eleventh hour!!! You gotta be kidding me!! She was the one who knew and arranged the transportation when we reached there as she has already settled with the tour city. Haha.. Funny is it?? I was worried indeed! We dont even know where is the hotel that we are going to stay. Only the name!! San Lorenzo!! Who the hell knew it?? Trolllll... Everybody was worried however there is a line that always sing in my mind "God will make a way when there is seems to be no way."

In the airport, i were google ing all the hotel near Makati, as my fren, Vicky suggested to shop at greenbelt in Makati. Thank God!! However, as i google, i couldnt find any hotel! Trolol... If people asked about our Destination, i'll just answer Makati, if they ask which part of Makati then i'll say Makati again, near greenbelt though. Nice answer yea.. Who the hell care. The moment that six of us waiting for were finally arrived!! Around 2:++pm, we arrived Clark, airport!! Yihooo... Finally baby!! Clark air is different from Kk, obviously. Lol.. Everybody was so excited! As we carried our luggage.. oh!!! Transportation man!! As Vicky and some of my friend told me that as I came out from the airport, there is a bus counter. Oh!! Thank God!!! We bought for six people, 400 peso/head. Done!! The moment we went out near the taxi driver, we saw a guy holding a paper with our friend name on it. Oh no!!! We bought the ticket already~ after we discussed about it, i went back to the bus counter asking if the tickets refundable, however, they said cant but can be used for coming bek to airport on Sunday. :'( Ohhh... while my sister went asking the guy with our fren named. Suddenly I felt someone pulled me from the counter¡¡¡¡ I thought he is a handsome however he is actually she, my own sister... Cehh... She said we just follow the bus, and she asked me to run toward the bus Asap as she explained to me about the guy told her that the name on that paper is from blablabla.. Cant be trusted. So we decided to follow the bus. The end.

Yeay!!! Entered the bus and sit for awhile. Gosh!!!! Where are the location of the bus is heading to?? I mean exact location, we knew Makati, but which part?? Near our hotel?? San Lorenzo?? Or what?? Oh no¡¡¡ By our faith, we surrendered everything to almighty decision, You guide us Lord. We offer up our journey to You, show us the path. Ok, rilax in the bus, long journey!!! Almost four hours!! Manila... JAM!! like crazy!! People here and there kept on honk to each other and the distance between the two buses equal to your wrist!! As if you can open the window and slap the next bus' passanger. Can you imagine¿¿ Near is it¿¿ Unbelievable yet true, sorry, this ismy first time going out from Malaysia "culture shocked" but not Sabah. ;-p. Pheeeewwwww... Long journey! I wanna go pee... However, the bus' toilet fragrant!! wow!!! #puke. So, I just endevour myself to stand. Baboy!! Wait k Val. Alrite, "Makati is here" one of the girl screamed. Oh... Finally!! I need to find toilet :-) The moment we went out from the bus~ Where are we????? FEel LOST!!!! FOREVER LOST!!! I mean for few second due to the highway we were standing. No bustop there!!! I mean Makati pit stop!!! Lol.. Luckily i know how to speak tagalog a bit! I learnt from the book. Then, we asked about Hotel nearby, overall, 5 stars hotel, out of our expectation dude! Then went to ascott Hotel, still couldnt find any. For twenty minutes looking around.for hotel but couldnt find. Hey!!!! I wanna pee..Feel like wanna explode¡ My oufit for that day totally wrong!! I know I do look gorgeous with mini skirt, however they said, for first day, it is better to look simple. Argghh... Whatever. Luckily stop near pizza huts just for the toilet. Phewww... Much more better!! :-) Praise God!! mum came out with a brilliant idea which was by asking the taxi driver "Raymund the good looking taxi driver and he is young" the 4stars hotel nearby, he brought us to full house hotel and the 2nd hotel was L&B suite due to lack of hotel that he knows... The funny thing here!! I bought the cheap pork bun which actually need to be microwaved!! However I was hungry and kept on munching it without seeing the label, then end up with puke all the food I ate previously. ;p LEARNT A LESSON!! 

Ok! Done!! Praise God for sending a good man to us even though syendee and litto shared front seat together. Troll! Raymund thank you!! You are good looking bald guy :-D The receiptionist man is a good and friendly man as well,.*He said that I am MAGANDA and my boyfriend will be lucky to have me "future boyfriend indeed" Lol!!! It is because I know how to deal the problem.with my manner and smile and many more. Enough Val!!! Hahahahahah.... TROLL.. Btw, we all were so lucky, God's plan was incredibly awesome :-D Thank God!! Yeay!!! The room is cozy as well!! Thank God!! We arrived there with our faith. He shows the way!!! God is awesome!!! All the time!!! Never lose HOPE!!! HE IS MY HOPE IN DESPERATION. THANK YOU JESUS!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!! Even though the weather that night wasnt good however we managed to reach there safely. We still in a pink of health for the next morning. I love the hotel services!! I love everything there!! Plus tips we gave the "Galang's look kid".

2nd day!! Horreeyyy... After sleep very well last night, we continue our tour on the 2nd day!! ;p the moment we woke up around 8am. The weather outside looks gloomy. Oh no!!! Plan ruin??? We need to go out from the hotel room please. After a while, the weather turn ok. So, continue our journey to shopping complex!! Greenbelt, otw going to greenbelt, we asked all the security for guide, then infront the bank, we took jeepney!!! So cute! Wow... It is great!! We took photo inside jeepney. ;-) Best moment!! At last jeepney!! 8peso/head. We passed the triangle park Makati. Ayala road of course. Then we go Landmark as it is just next to Greenbelt4 ;-) We took our breakfast in Landmark mall. Gosh!!! The stuff inside are cheap!!! We did our shopping and shooting., it was enjoyable. Great time together, we just knew that inside greenhill, there was a chapel with every hour mass!! Wow.. Cool is it!! The building itself unique!! Then, we called Allen as it is emergency, the tour guide, due to we need to get out of that place and see other places, places of interest or another shopping complex. Wahahaa... Then allen told me that he'll send joenelle instead of himself, then the white hyundai, van shown up and wow!!! The handsome man came out to invite us to his van. Comfy van ;-) i did really shy to talk but still asked a lot of questions. Then, yea... We pass all Makati places, still remembered all the places we passed on the way to greenhill~ Hee... As you know, the big wind as the tail of typhoon still there, big wind!!! you can see the trees went here and there. He told us that the day before we came, there were a big wind near the seaside of Manila. Wow XD praise God that we all saved from the big wind and splash of water "small tsunami he said" We knew a lot about Manila in a short while, the monsoon, small natural disaster.

Thank God we all are still alive after that day~ Phewww... Love you Jesus #The Power of Tridum. Then, after half an hour in the van, we finally reached Greenhills. Another green after greenbelr! ;-) The moment we entered!!! Gosh!!! Cheap!!! I brought out my calculator, but wait!!! Money changer! We need to change USD to peso. Ok... Wait wait wait k Val and everybody. We changed $800 to peso for four of us to shop, the rate were around 4.32. High is it?? So lucky, as the rate increased from the previous day and it also increase compared money changer in Makati. I cant resist myself after devide the money to four of us!!! Thank you mum for the pocket money!!! Really love mummy!! For the 1st time to be the responsible person to lead the tour as in money, hotel, transport, next destination, and so on. Ok, for me, calculator always be my boyfriend, with me 27hours, as I need it so badly. All the clothes there were so cheap!!! Gosh, left and right, could not resist!! Hehe.. Bags, clothes, pants, shoes, bangle, necklace, pants, etc Goshhhh... 150, 200-500 peso were the standard range of prices! Fainted. Devide 13 k people if you wanna know Malaysian RM! The 1st thing i spotted was necklace!! Do you know how much i adore necklace!! Oh my!!! Adore shopping. So worldly! Well... After that we went to Seaside, near Mall of Asia!! Ferris Wheel ;p Awwww~ so much fun!!!

After finishing shopping, where the incident my mom and I lose in that big building~ Hmmppp... Hahahhaa... Funny though! Then, all of us went to Macapagal Seaside: Dampa where we had our luxurious fresh seafood  dinner. we pick the fresh item and they cook for us. So much fun! Enjoy our time there even though massive jam on the way back hotel. Tour guide talaga handsome! ;p

3rd day :) Continue our day with new tour guide, Allen. He brought us to Intramurous, China Town, Quiapo Church, 189 mall, sourvenier shop and lastly SM Megamall, Mall of Asia. ;) So much fun! Then, we manage to find baboy satay near our new hotel. ;p Yummy!!! Thank God for the great journey! God with all of us ;)

4rd day :) Breakfast in McD and yea :) Our last day before our flight at 4pm. We did shopping somemore on the way to the airport. We saw the cementry on the way back however couldn't stop for a while due raining. Gosh! Quite heaving rain! Though, we all were arrived KK safely on 6pm :) Thank God.