L0ST??

The day before camp

0h dear Daddy L0rd, all I need is Y0u. Y0u are the 0nly one I need. These few m0nths, I can tell that I am suffocated in this life! I hate to admit th0ugh it is the fact. I can’t n0 m0re l0nger follow the rhythm of this life, s0 cruel, injustice, full of hatred, full of evil, hypocrisy, indescribable. I am not as strong as what you see daddy G0d, I’m just a tiny little dust~ fuhhhh….juz bl0w me. Then, I ‘ll follow where the bl0w heading T_T. I always ask and ask and ask myself, why my life rite, full of sadness and c0mplicated this. Yea, really, I’m not lying. I d0nt kn0w why als0, y0u wanna test me Daddy G0d? perhaps.. Reas0n? Tut.. tut… tut… Engaged…

 All the sweet mem0ries that I have can be c0unted, eiireirr “n0dding my head” take my hand out and started t0 c0unt my fingers, one, two bla… bla… toe? N0 thanks, less than that.

That’s why daddy G0d… I endeavoured myself to get out from that z0ne. z0ne? sad z0ne~ because I kn0w that y0u will h0ld me, always! n0 darkness, n0 sick of pain, n0 suffering, u always be there for me~ please hold me n0w Daddy L0rd G0d. please~~

My faith??I’m asking myself. Hey!!!! Ya! Ya! Ya! Answer!!! Stupida!!! My tears cant st0p fr0m flooding my eyes~ please st0p darling, please!!! I cant~ it really pain G0d. PAIN? U already heard the sharing rite? u should kn0w rite! Ha  ha  ha  “evil laf”.. all I need is COUNSELLING. Mr Dereck Ch0ng can y0u help me? Mrs Dereck Chong? I need it please~ S0meh0w my sad feeling kan killin me inside dis, I d0nt kn0w h0w express it bah. Yea, I kn0w all the decisi0ns are mine h0wever, I d0nt kn0w~ I d0nt kn0w~ I cho0se t0 get hurt rather than pe0ple yang hurt. Because kan, I feel guilty every time they ol get hurt. Natural that kan. I D0N’T KN0W DADDY GOD. I DON’T KNOW WHAT SH0ULD I DO. Suddenly, lifeliners pe0ple cross my mind! I miss lifeline plak!! Really miss they all. What happen dis 0wh Daddy G0d? what are y0u trying t0 tell me?? T_T.. keep on crying this~

Hypocrisy?? I try to get rid with hyp0crite pe0ple! I really h0pe that I’m n0t 0ne 0f them because kan, I ever experience pe0ple yang like that and I started t0 get rid with that type of pe0ple. I started my life n0t acc0rding to hyp0crisy, I d0nt wanna be hyp0crite!! D0 depan lain, at the back lain, g0ssip2 s0me m0re. die la if me like that, I rather kill myself n masuk hell . Daddy G0d, please give strength t0 endure all these things. Help me L0rd. I kn0w y0u are the 0nly 0ne can help me. I praise y0ur name in the highest. I’m s0rry l0rd f0r begging you many fav0ur, all I can say is “Syukur and Puji Tuhan”. I will pray for y0u as well L0rd, n0t 0nly asking y0u.

later kan, t0mmrw3.. during camp kan, I guarantee that I’ll CRY and cry and cry~ that’s f0r sure “cry” why 0wh? I have many pr0blems in this life. Just few m0nths ag0 went f0r arm0ur up n0t enuf iz it? Human being tend t0 fall in sins, repeat their mistake, etc.. haiiiizzzzzz…..

Best friend, help me! Every time I have pr0blem y0u will always give advice, as if y0u kn0w that I’m in tr0uble. You are my part time guardian angel kan as y0u pr0mise last time, why suddenly n0w y0u disappear with0ut any news? “T_T- tambah cry. Val!!!! U need t0 stand by y0ur 0wn feet!!!! Don’t be t00 pamper!!!!

Bible verse: next time la, I d0nt want t0 cari c0z I am sangat sad this, I d0nt care!! Aaaaaa…aaaa……aaa… F0rgive me Daddy G0d. Me gila d.

Every test that you have experienced is the kind that normally comes to people. But God keeps His promise, and He will not allow you to be tested beyond your power to remain firm; at the time you are put to the test, He will give you the strength to endure it, and so provide you with a way out. 1 Corinthians 10:13

“Speak, Lord, for y0ur servant is listening”

Dear L0rd Jesus, may the light of your love and truth free me from the darkness of sin. Let your light shine thru me that 0thers may see your love and truth and find h0pe and peace in y0u. May I never d0ubt your l0ve n0r take for granted the mercy you have sh0wn to me. I need the strength daddy G0d ^^.