SPECIAL KIDS?

There is only 1 word can describe about KIDS; adorable! Children are the gift from God. Can you imagine their are so cutie pies plus the cheeky smile? Besides, their cheek is soft, fluffy, smooth like satin, and elastic like gummy bear. Cute, adorable, comel, cumil, loveable. I love kids very much especially toddler. You might be blur now; what on earth this girl is talking about? Am I going to have baby soon? Haha. It might sound ridiculous for me to tell you that.... I am actually "dealing" with kids; to be exact:therapy and teaching for special needs kids.

First of all, I want to thank God for this golden opportunity that He has given me, He knows that I love kids so very and many much! Only He knows. Lol. It was by God's grace I feel blessed, which to teach special needs has never crossed my mind, but teaching as in become a teacher was one of my greatest desire ;). To be honest, I am doubting His plan for me. Is it really what He has ready for me? Well, now I wanna say that, yea! It is. Affirmation by affirmation I get from Him, He affirms me through bible verse and friends. Honestly, working with a good, generous, kind and loving bosses really make me feel blessed, cared and loved! I am beyond happy: overwhelming. I love my working environment too plus good colleagues ever xD Fun, young, hilarious, one of a kind, patient, encouraging and vibrant.

My kids aka my anakz, known as disability kids as well; they are special, very special in their own way. They have autism, microcephaly, echolaly, down sydrom, hyperactive sydrom, speech delay etc, these all are just special name. They are adorable you know. I love all the kids, especially my anakz. Many sweet and sour moments between all of us. Yea, they might not verbal, only vocalising, behavioural problems, slow in doing things, cant walk properly, too hyper, cant control their reflex, slow talk, poor memory, features imperfect, love stimming; as in their own world, love sensory thing, lack of awareness,  can talk about dinosaur all day long, repeated what you say, running without direction and many more. But they are good kids, when you show your love, prayer and care to them. I know how it feel because I manage to feel their sweet little love. It is beyond amazing, the fruit of my little love for them because they are special in my eyes. I cry knowing that I am going to leave them. I miss them so much. Yea, they all are just so cute! Hugs and kisses from mama to all my dearies ;)

Well, when it happened, it is just happened. Accept it, every thing happened for a reason. Put our trust in the Lord. He'll reveal it, the plan He has for you and me, BELIEVE. Here I share my everyday prayer toward my special kids goes like this "Let my touch today become spiritual touch in their personal growth with God and continue be the blessing as an instrument of God with their own special way. May they feel the same peace that God has given me Amen."

One good question from my sweet friend: Have you ever thought before why they are created? Why only me experience it? "We might say that". Well, I believe that God wants to tell us that not everyone has a perfect features, image and high intelligence like normal human being. We are called to be grateful with what we have. We have a perfect image and intelligence that can be use to help God to evangelist His love story and His greatness through our tangible experience. However, those kids are way too different from us. They are created for a purpose, to bring everyone closer to God, give thanks with the perfect features and intelligence. To plant perseverance and patient in everyone's they meet. They are pure as a the holy water.

Let me share my simple prayer for special kids out there:

I pray that all the disabilities kids out there will be protected by You God, dont let them suffer from the mental or physical abuse. Please save them from all that things that worried me the most. Some parents or person might thought these kids are useless or troublesome for them. Please please please, they are innocent, they have never wanted to be born in that disabilities. Dear Abba, You know what is the best for them. With humble heart, hear this sinner's prayer.

P/s: I do really hope my biggest prayer to open a charity special needs kids' theraphy for the NEEDY. I believe that some poor or needy parents might be thinking "why am I always the unlucky one" but some might be thinking "thank you for the blessing You have given us, our kid has brought us near to You". I pray that the Rich and poor will have the opportunity to learn, which bring to equality. Everyone deserves the best as long as God's people generosity flow endlessly. X') Let's pray together for them. Hugs them tightly.

"It is not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing. It is not how much we give, but how much love we put in the giving." - Mother Teresa.

Should I Give up?

Dear God,

I am a great sinner, I try very hard not to sin but this world has dragged me too far from You. I am belong to worldly world and not You any more. Why does it happened to me? Is it only me? Your chosen one? Every time I pray,  I dont feel You. As if there is a wall between us, blocking me from reaching you. What are those thing you wanna tell me, You seems too far to be heard, the noises came from the vehicles drawn Your voice. I know there are many U-turns in front but... is it too late for me to turn? I've been wasting my time to reach the world and now I need to make U-turn to bring You along with me? I am doubting, can I reach there on time? I mean to the worldly world. It sounds like the worldly world is fun and it can't wait me right? Yea, it is fun! Or am I the one who can't wait for the world? I am confuse with myself, where am I now Lord?

-Unknown

Question to ponder upon tonite.

Why are we so eager to chase the worldly thing and neglected God behind of us? Leaving Him without saying goodbye or sms goodbye for the sake of worldly world? Why can't we bring along God to our so called worldly world? Why God can't join us there? Why must we go there without Him? There are many WHY. It really frustrating to hear all the why. Will God feel sad for the rejection that we shot? I invite all of us to ponder this matter before sleep.

It is normal to fall into temptation and make mistakes, we all did, none of us is perfect and will escape from it, we learnt from mistakes which make we realize how imperfect we are. It also teach us how to stand still till the very end. One thing we need to remember, God who always just right next to us, if we decide to leave Him, He wont do the same thing because He is the faithful God. Only Him can make you glad, joy, peace, loved, blessed and many more. Don't we wanna taste the greatness of God like before? Lets take courage in everything we do for the Lord! Be a man or woman of God, bring Him everywhere we go, walk with Him daily! He will lead our path to the right one, and we will find PEACE that the world can't give. We ever exprienced it before! How could your dont remember all the sweet moment! Try to recall the feeling before. Awesome isn't it? However, the big matter now, Do we BELIEVE in Him? Ask ourself about it, be honest to ourself. God is always waiting for our answer, everyday and every second. If our answer is YES. Let everyday and every second be a YES to the Lord. Take courage, open our heart to Him, surrender all the obstacles and burden to Him. Receive the anointing of Holy Spirit. Let His touch become the wake up call and healing of our life.

I leave you with the "chasing pavement by Adele", 1 lyric which really good.

'Should I give up or should I keep on chasing pavement even if it leads nowhere'

Let me share my prayer.

Dear God, hear my simple prayer, from the deepest of Your humble servant's heart, I pray that You will never give up on us even we have neglected You in the 1st place. You know our hearts' desire, we want you to be with You and we want the best for our life but we forgot to put You 1st in our life. I bet that is our biggest mistake Lord. Please forgive us, grant us Your mercy. Right this moment God, I pray that all the youth in this world will put You 1st in their life, let You be the centre of our life. Give us 2nd chance Lord to run toward You, Your kingdom, will You give us 2nd chance Lord? I believe You will because You are forgiving Abba. You'll never let us drawn in the Bermuda Triangle mud. Thank you Lord for hearing my prayer. I seal my prayer with the precious blood of Jesus Christ. In Jesus most precious and mighty name. Amen.

Have a blessed day ahead prince and princess of God. #winks

Date or Death?

Have you ever think of your own death? How its gonna be? Are you ready for your own death? Do you scared of dying? Honestly, Cory monteith's death was a wake up call for me. It make me do a lot of reflections unconsciously. Life is so short, spend it wisely especially with the one that you love. For me, my family ;)

Photo credit to Natasha Ch Photographer

Frankly, I am scared of death. Sometimes, I don't. Correction: many times, I don't. Lol! Yea. I am laughing.  I am willingly give my life for you. Correction: you, my beloved family members. I cant take the pain again to lost any of you, let me sacrifice myself in your place. Lord, hear my prayer. Your life is more valuable than me, your future. I love myself, but I love you all more than myself. I will not let my greed conquer me, if you need any organ in me, just take half of it with my free will, if I am still alive. Promise ;) If I go before y'all, please "donate" all the functional organs to the needy, I am okay to be buried in lacking rather than see the needy in suffering. This is my only last will. Lord, hear me. Dear my beloved family members, wo ai ni men 사랑해 pyaar heh, aishiteru, rak rak mak mak.

Dear late grandma, my mamatua, I miss you so much! So damn hurt much. It has been 4 years 3 months and 24 days. I cant forget that moment, I still cant believe it! It's like yesterday you were still right beside me, sleeping, hug me and staring at me without my knowledge. It was so clear. You leave me without telling me, I was in church that day you were gone. I was holding an olive oil for you as you ever complained about your numb and pain leg. Mom sms me saying that you fainted while I was in mass. I offered my prayer by begging God to take my life instead of yours or else take half of my life for you, till I meet you, pleaaassseee. I cant live without you, no! I cant! God, I am not greed but she is the one who loves me very much and sincere deep love me. She was the one whom I always called crying on phone during my matrix day, homesick. Dont. Please. I was "still" alone in church that time, 1st year. After many years, I accepted the fact that God loves you more than I do. Such a relieved. The least i can do for you mamatua, memories we created together were recited rosary with my reluctant faces and talk about God. Mamatua, now I know why you always pray for yourself especially your health. God, forgive me for judging my grandma's prayer, I wonder why she didnt pray for others? Coz she was not called to pray for others. Now I understood everyone has different calling, forgive me Lord. Lord, have mercy.

As a human being, we make mistakes all over again. Have we ever think to correct all the mistakes we have done? Have we ever thought about it? REPENT is the word. Haha..

I might not yet ready for my death, but my last will gonna be :

1. "Donating" all my useful organs for the needy, family, y'all need to make sure for needy.

2. My funeral mass' flower: red roses. I'll prepare money to buy all that, no worries.

3. My funeral mass songs: how great is our God-hillsong "favourite song", all for love-hillsong, "helene by MCR" however this one I dont think will be approved by church! Heheh... I have no idea of funeral songs. My late grandma's one all in kadazan. 

4. Family members, must smile when you wanna make last speech in front of my death face, with tears okay, must smile k ;) wink if you can. Mum, dad, ling, gung, yo n yi, I love you all sincerely and deeply. Muaxxx! Hehhe.. please dont cry. XD Jesus loves y'all. I pray in Jesus Christ' precious blood to seal and cover y'all from any harm. Amen. 

5. Burry me with my yellow Good news bible! My first and only english bible. Memories of my faith.

6. Some friends indeed must come with their flower or else postage the flower yea. Do tell my 2 special friends about it k, y'all know that, their photo in my previous2 blogs. Hahah...

I am pretty much have some idea for my funeral. I might be added some new ideas anytime. Do update yea. Hahaha... xp

Dear God, I pray for all souls in purgatory and anywhere around this world, may your holy touch bring them together with you in heaven. I pray especially for my grandma's soul, Laura Liew ah moi, liaw mui jin and wong ho siew. Please save their souls, bring all souls to heaven. Amen.

Hear me oh Lord from the deepest hope of your humble sinner's heart. Amen. Only You can understand my prayer Lord. Thank you Lord.

"Jesus said to them, “When you pray, say this, ‘Father:

May your holy name be honored; may your Kingdom come. Give us day by day the food we need. Forgive us our sins, for we forgive everyone who does us wrong. And do not bring us to hard testing.’"~Luke 11: 2-4

Sweet Love of God

Dear my friends,

I might not know how I react when you tell me your pain.
I might not know how to help when you really need it.
I might not know how to affirm when you really need it.
I might not know how to entertain when you are really sad.
I might not know how to comfort when you are really troubled.
I might not know how to put into words all my prayers for you.
I might not know how to give advice when you really need it.
I might not know how to make you happy when you are really sad.

But my prayers always goes like this:

Photo credit to Elizabeth Blank

"Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. 

Where there is hatred let me sow love. 

Where there is injury let me sow pardon. 

Where there is doubt let me sow faith. 

Where there is despair let me give hope. 

Where there is darkness let me give light. 

Where there is sadness let me give joy." 

(Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi, 1181-1226)

I might not know what exactly I am doing or unconsciously knowing it, but I believe Lord hears my prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi. I do hope via my little action of LOVE ♥♥♥ by smile? Hugs? Touch? Listen? Quality time? Interact? Jokes? Suggestions? 

Has bring a small healing in your life.

I believe in Him, I have no doubt that every actions I do will be with His guide.

Pardon me if I had done wrong, acted wrongly, or said something bad to you, yes you.

My tongue might slippery sometimes, but my heart doesn't mean it.

May the ♥ Love ♥ of God be with us. With humble heart I pray. 사랑해♥♥♥ Blessed Sunday.

Muaxx